


Two Steps Forward

by ShaneVansen



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-27
Updated: 2010-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-08 09:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaneVansen/pseuds/ShaneVansen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John was never letting her out of his sight off-world ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Command Dynamics June 2005.

John paused as he passed by the balcony door. A quick glance through the windows told him there was no one out there, but if he knew her at all....

She was seated on the ground to the left of the door, knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She was rocking back and forth the slightest bit.

"Elizabeth?" he called softly, and she turned to look at him before returning her gaze to the view of the city.

"John." Her voice was flat. "Something I can do for you?"

He eased himself to the ground next to her, careful to leave space between them. "Just wanted to see how you're doing."

Elizabeth shook her head, eyes still trained on whatever it was she was staring at – which, he suspected, was nothing that anyone else would ever be able to see. "I just need a few minutes."

"You've been missing for nearly two hours," John told her, although that wasn't strictly true – while no one had actually seen her in that long, he knew she still had her radio on and would have been reachable in an emergency.

It didn't seem that it mattered, though, because all he got in response was a distracted-sounding, "Mmmm." He didn't think she'd even heard him.

John ran a hand over his face and sighed, wishing someone else could be out there instead of him: he never had handled the serious side of things well, usually preferring to make a joke and move on. But he knew that that particular tactic wouldn't work well here.

Besides he was – unfortunately – perhaps uniquely qualified to understand what Elizabeth was going through. Half of the expedition team was made up of scientists who had never seen combat, and most of the military contingent had never killed face-to-face and had never seen death close-up. He was willing to bet that no one on Atlantis had been in a seemingly non-threatening environment, talking to a potential ally, only to be splattered by that potential ally's blood as a bullet passed through his brain.

John was never letting her out of his sight off-world ever again.

From what he'd heard, Elizabeth had handled herself well. She'd dragged the dead man behind some trees – an admittedly useless yet admirable thing to do, the 'leave no one behind' part of him noted – before taking cover herself and waiting for John and his team to arrive. She'd held herself together over the next several hours as they'd dealt with the inevitable fallout of the murder of a high-ranking official. When they'd finally left the planet, still no one had known who the shooter was or where the weapon had come from; it hadn't been Earth-issue, but no world they'd ever visited had displayed that sort of technology. Bates was on the planet now, helping with the investigation.

Elizabeth had dutifully gone to see Carson upon their return, and had disappeared shortly thereafter. John was relieved to see she'd showered and changed out of her bloody clothes.

He eyed her now, debating what to do next. While she hadn't asked him to leave, it was obvious that she didn't want to talk.

John reached out a hand, hesitating before he let it rest gently on her back. While he thought of her as a friend after these past few months and knew she considered him a friend as well, there was still a remoteness about her that practically shouted at people to keep their distance. So it was to his surprise that she actually leaned into his touch.

He moved closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him, resting her chin on her knees. She'd stopped her rocking, though she continued to stare blankly off into the distance.

And they sat.

Atlantis eventually noticed they were missing, however, and their quiet was interrupted first by Rodney looking for Elizabeth and then, seconds later, by Ford looking for John.

"Duty calls," she said wryly as they got to their feet, and he was glad to see some life back in her eyes.

He stopped her just before the door opened. "Elizabeth." He wasn't sure if his offer would overstep the boundaries of their friendship, but he knew what it was like. He wished he'd had the same offer when he'd needed it, all those years ago. "It gets harder after dark. When you can't sleep tonight, come to my quarters."

Her eyes snapped to his, her suddenly sharp gaze missing nothing. John was beginning to wish he'd never opened his mouth when she reached out and tangled their fingers together for one quick moment, squeezing hard. Then she was gone through the door, the everyday sounds of the city filtering out onto the balcony.

With a deep breath of the salty ocean air, John left to find Ford.

_\--end-- _


	2. A Few Steps More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd been right: it was harder after dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted to Command Dynamics June 2005.

Elizabeth hovered outside the door to John's quarters, not quite certain if she was trying to convince herself to knock or leave. She wasn't sure what she thought he could do to help, but his parting words earlier in the day had been dead on: it _was_ harder after dark. And if he'd been right about that—

"Elizabeth?"

Already on edge, she jerked and spun towards the voice to see John approaching from down the hall. "John. I was just...." One hand gestured aimlessly. "Are you busy?"

"Nope." He stopped an arm's length away. "What can I do for you?"

She cleared her throat. "Earlier, you offered...." She trailed off, uncomfortable explaining why she was more or less stalking his room.

But John didn't need any further explanation. "Of course." He opened the door to his quarters and motioned that she should enter. "C'mon in."

Elizabeth hesitated again; despite how long a day it had been, she was still too jumpy to sit still and even the thought of being John's quarters was making her feel claustrophobic. "Actually, I think I'm going to go take a walk. But thank you."

She turned to leave but was stopped by John's voice. "Hey. Let me grab my jacket and I'll join you." And before Elizabeth could even decide if she wanted the company, John was coming back into the hall, pulling on his jacket and tossing another one in her direction. "Here. It'll get cold soon."

She caught the jacket easily and stood motionless for a moment, watching as John moved away down the hall. "Come on," he called over his shoulder. "I know just the place."

Pulling on his jacket, Elizabeth quickly caught up.

**

She slowed as they walked down a hallway she had never seen before, taking in the unusual sight.

John had brought her to the lowest level of an unused section of the city. This far down, the windows offered an underwater view which, this late at night, glowed a faint bluish-green colour thanks to Atlantis' lights shining from above. To their left, the wall was decorated with elaborate Ancient script from floor to ceiling and as far as she could see in either direction. The most fascinating thing about the writing, however, was how the words shimmered a soft green, illuminating the hallway and tingeing the area with a distinctly alien atmosphere. "When did you find this place?" Elizabeth asked as she ran the pads of her fingers over the Ancient writing, picking out familiar words from among those unknown to her.

"Late yesterday," John told her, craning his neck and looking out the window; from where she was standing, it seemed he was trying to see the rest of the city through the water. "McKay took a look at it, said it was decorative – poetry or something – and that he'd get to it when he had time." He glanced at her over his shoulder, quirked a grin. "Actually, it was more along the lines of: he was a little busy trying to figure out how to protect the city, but if it was that important he could take a few days to read me poetry as long as I took responsibility when the Wraith destroyed Atlantis from orbit. But the end result's the same."

Elizabeth smiled despite herself; that sounded just like Rodney. "And when was I going to be informed?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "There's a report around somewhere. Like I said, I didn't find it until late last night and we were off-world for most of today."

She felt the smile fade from her lips. "Right," she murmured. "I'm sure it's on my desk."

She started down the hall again, suddenly unable to stand still. She knew John would follow, though part of her almost didn't care.

"I keep seeing his face," Elizabeth said abruptly. "It doesn't matter if my eyes are open or closed, all I can see is his face and the hole in his forehead…."

She hadn't even been aware that she'd been twisting her fingers together, a habit she'd had since childhood, until John reached over and gently pried her hands apart, keeping her right hand clasped loosely in his left. Elizabeth didn't pull away; his touch gave her something to focus on.

The words kept coming. "He was smiling, and then he looked shocked. He was alive long enough to realize what had happened. He _knew_." Her voice cracked slightly and she cleared her throat, embarrassed.

They were both silent for several moments as they continued down the hall, side by side. John sighed. "I can't tell you if he knew or not, but he didn't feel anything, Elizabeth. It would have been painless."

She didn't know if he was telling her the truth or was just trying to make her feel better, but she chose to believe him. She nodded.

"As for seeing it over and over…." He shook his head. "That'll fade with time. For a few days it's all you'll be able to think about, then it'll only be every few minutes, until eventually you only remember it as an occasional nightmare."

John's fingers tightened over hers – not entirely voluntarily, she thought – and Elizabeth wondered what he saw in his nightmares. But the way his hand was still clenched around hers and the set of his jaw suggested that now was not a good time to ask.

They continued walking in silence. It never even occurred to Elizabeth that she had no idea where she was until, a good two hours after she'd first arrived at John's quarters, they passed McKay's lab. After that, it was only another fifteen minutes until they were standing in front of her door.

Elizabeth touched the sensor that would open her door and turned to look, really look, at John for the first time that night. "Thank you," she said sincerely, if inadequately; for a woman who made her living using words she was having a difficult time finding the right ones to use.

But he got it. "Any time," he said lightly. His expression altered. "You okay?"

He was utterly serious and it sat uneasily on him – or maybe it sat uneasily with her that he was genuinely worried about her. She wasn't used to being the focus of that kind of concern.

"I will be," she assured him. "It's just a matter of time, right?" She gave him a half-smile which he returned. Without thought, she reached out and grasped his upper arm, giving it a quick squeeze. "Good night, John."

"Good night, Elizabeth."

He stood in the hall until she entered her quarters and closed the door behind her, and she had to shake her head at his protectiveness. He might play the irreverent Air Force pilot at times but she was beginning to suspect that, in spite of their occasional clashes, he was as loyal as they came.

It was only when she went to change into her pyjamas that Elizabeth realized she was still wearing his jacket. Shrugging it off her shoulders, she held it in both hands for a moment before draping it neatly over the back of a chair. Taking a step back, she regarded the jacket thoughtfully, then turned her back on it and continued to undress.

Loyal he may be, but Elizabeth was just starting to understand that he could be a threat to her in other, more personal, ways.

She would have to be careful.

_\--end--_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole "underwater levels of the city" thing sparked a debate, because Ro wanted to know why parts of the city are still underwater. I figure the city's like a ship: it floats, but there's still some of it that's beneath the surface. I asked around and there doesn't appear to be anything canon which directly contradicted that fact, so... go with it.


End file.
